Medical students are a funny bunch, scurrying around the hospital in their short coats and trying to do just enough so that they’re seen and remembered, but not so much that they might have to work hard. They have this false sense of “I know what’s up,” when really they have no idea and will realize that in a matter of months.
1. “I have a meeting with my advisor/dean/attending”
This one is the hospital equivalent of ‘the dog ate my homework.’ When you wanted to get out of the hospital, it was pretty much failsafe- as long as it wasn’t overused. I’m pretty sure I met with my attend-isor-ean at least q week as an MS3, and always around 3:30 except o¬n Fridays, when the meeting was moved up to 2:00pm. As an MS4, the meetings were in the morning.
2.”We have lecture today.”
As a medical student, this seems risky but no one can argue with academics. As a student, telling someone you have a lecture is like telling someone you were late because you had diarrhea. No one can prove it, but who would lie about it? A lot of people.The truth is, as a resident, I didn’t know when, where or with whom students had lecture. And I certainly did not care to find out. If I had only known then, what I know now
3. “I learned a lot this month”
Med students will quote this gem even if their education o¬n the floor went no further then Guaiac and IVs . I was no kiss-ass, but even I said this to every intern, resident, and attending that crossed my path. And for o¬ne reason: EVALS. When some goofy resident’s comments weigh as heavily as an end-of the-clerkship exam, medical students will say virtually anything to get that grade.
4. “No, I haven’t eaten yet.”
There are few things better, as a medical student, than the forbidden fruit of the second lunch. Another chance to avoid having to uncomfortably trail your stressed out intern, who keeps asking you to get things, and disappearing before you can find him/her. And how good is it to relax in the cafeteria with your fellow medical students, dishing the dirt about who scuts and who’s cool.
5. “Yeah, I’m totally considering going into _____”
When your grade depends upon the amount of enthusiasm you show during a rotation, and your grader asks you what you want to do, it’s hard to respond with: ‘Anything but this.’ So why not make all parties happy.